One day...
Door: Rianna Hijlkema
Blijf op de hoogte en volg Rianna
17 Januari 2016 | Costa Rica, Limón
One Day.. on a tiny little island in Indonesia I met a stranger, and we started talking..
Me: Yes, I’m single, cause dating an independent female traveler is not easy..
Making plans with me is hard, I just go by the flow and follow my heart. I don’t have a certain plan or a permanent address and I can clean up my own mess. I work hard, pay my bills and maintain myself. I have a job, own a bike and live perfectly comfortable. I’m hard to please, cause my soul is always craving for new experiences and adventures. I rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane, than to live in a huge appartment or wear the newest clothes. Being alone is not frightening me and so I get to fully enjoy my ‘me-time’. I have the soul of a gypsy, the heart of a hippie and the spirit of a fairy. And I don’t believe in long-distance relationships.
No, life as my boyfriend would not be easy…
He: Yes I’m single, cause dating a military guy is not easy…
Making plans with me isn’t a one-on-one decision. If the army asks me to stay late to do some extra work, no amount of planning beforehand will guarantee that i’ll be able to make it. The future will always be uncertain and I make promises and break them right after. No, life as an army girlfriend would not be easy…
But after this One Day, many days did follow and we started writing letters back and forward. Got to know each other a bit better, and after 4 months we could finally continue where we left off, in Canada.
And in the next months, we learned about quality over quantity time. It didn’t matter how much time we spend together, the most important part was about the quality of this time. And he made sure that I knew that every precious second with me was meaningful to him.
This long-distance relationship taught us how to be patient. We learned to both love and hate Skype. Cause when something as important as seeing each other for a few moments for the first time in weeks gets ruined by technology, there are very few things that can stop you from throwing your computer through the window. But as much of a struggle it was, we found that there are few things better than getting to see each others face, even if for just a horrible, pixelated second before that stupid dropped-call noise sounded again.
He learned that dating an independent woman meant that clinging on to me, would push him further away. And he learned (almost..) to deal with my ‘me-time’ complex, and the ‘space’ I need, even tough we were so far away from each other. He learned how to handle my stubbornness in a certain way, to not give advice, but let me try to do things my own way first, even if he’s already been through something. And he tried to understand the moments when I felt so self-reliant, content and in control that he wondered whether I still needed him in my life. But he learned to appreciatie alle these qualities of mine, rather than to fear them.
I learned to accept change better than anyone I know, because nothing can be taken for granted or guaranteed when your dating a military guy. And I discovered that the military is really owning him. He’s bound to follow orders or receive consequences for it. He doesn’t know what a 40-hour work week looks like, cause most of the time there’s not even a full night’s sleep, because he has to be working around the clock for weeks on end, taking only 2 hour shifts to catch some quick sleep, in the middle of the fields. In the mean time I tried to understand (and memorize) the completely overwhelming acronyms for all the army terms. And when I was on the base for the first time, I experienced paranoia meeting his higher-ups, because I’m a civilian and I don’t want to do anything wrong, or embarrass him. I also learned to be vulnerable, open up and communicate openly about my thoughts, feelings or just my daily things, to someone other than myself.
And in return for the distance, the worry and the sacrifices I found a loyal, caring, disciplined, protective, romantic, appreciating and wonderful guy. Who opens doors for me, has a great sense of humor, is a strong communicator and knows how to break down my walls.
Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say ‘I love you’, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true….
One Day, this will be our past and just a story. A story of long days and lonely nights, hard work and lack of sleep. We’ll live each coming day having known the struggle of being apart, we’ll appreciate and embrace our time together, knowing how lucky we are to have made it through, and we’ll find solace in the promise of a future together…
And that One Day will be earned, not given..
India - LimaOscarVictorEcho - YankeeOscarUniform
Me: Yes, I’m single, cause dating an independent female traveler is not easy..
Making plans with me is hard, I just go by the flow and follow my heart. I don’t have a certain plan or a permanent address and I can clean up my own mess. I work hard, pay my bills and maintain myself. I have a job, own a bike and live perfectly comfortable. I’m hard to please, cause my soul is always craving for new experiences and adventures. I rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane, than to live in a huge appartment or wear the newest clothes. Being alone is not frightening me and so I get to fully enjoy my ‘me-time’. I have the soul of a gypsy, the heart of a hippie and the spirit of a fairy. And I don’t believe in long-distance relationships.
No, life as my boyfriend would not be easy…
He: Yes I’m single, cause dating a military guy is not easy…
Making plans with me isn’t a one-on-one decision. If the army asks me to stay late to do some extra work, no amount of planning beforehand will guarantee that i’ll be able to make it. The future will always be uncertain and I make promises and break them right after. No, life as an army girlfriend would not be easy…
But after this One Day, many days did follow and we started writing letters back and forward. Got to know each other a bit better, and after 4 months we could finally continue where we left off, in Canada.
And in the next months, we learned about quality over quantity time. It didn’t matter how much time we spend together, the most important part was about the quality of this time. And he made sure that I knew that every precious second with me was meaningful to him.
This long-distance relationship taught us how to be patient. We learned to both love and hate Skype. Cause when something as important as seeing each other for a few moments for the first time in weeks gets ruined by technology, there are very few things that can stop you from throwing your computer through the window. But as much of a struggle it was, we found that there are few things better than getting to see each others face, even if for just a horrible, pixelated second before that stupid dropped-call noise sounded again.
He learned that dating an independent woman meant that clinging on to me, would push him further away. And he learned (almost..) to deal with my ‘me-time’ complex, and the ‘space’ I need, even tough we were so far away from each other. He learned how to handle my stubbornness in a certain way, to not give advice, but let me try to do things my own way first, even if he’s already been through something. And he tried to understand the moments when I felt so self-reliant, content and in control that he wondered whether I still needed him in my life. But he learned to appreciatie alle these qualities of mine, rather than to fear them.
I learned to accept change better than anyone I know, because nothing can be taken for granted or guaranteed when your dating a military guy. And I discovered that the military is really owning him. He’s bound to follow orders or receive consequences for it. He doesn’t know what a 40-hour work week looks like, cause most of the time there’s not even a full night’s sleep, because he has to be working around the clock for weeks on end, taking only 2 hour shifts to catch some quick sleep, in the middle of the fields. In the mean time I tried to understand (and memorize) the completely overwhelming acronyms for all the army terms. And when I was on the base for the first time, I experienced paranoia meeting his higher-ups, because I’m a civilian and I don’t want to do anything wrong, or embarrass him. I also learned to be vulnerable, open up and communicate openly about my thoughts, feelings or just my daily things, to someone other than myself.
And in return for the distance, the worry and the sacrifices I found a loyal, caring, disciplined, protective, romantic, appreciating and wonderful guy. Who opens doors for me, has a great sense of humor, is a strong communicator and knows how to break down my walls.
Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say ‘I love you’, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true….
One Day, this will be our past and just a story. A story of long days and lonely nights, hard work and lack of sleep. We’ll live each coming day having known the struggle of being apart, we’ll appreciate and embrace our time together, knowing how lucky we are to have made it through, and we’ll find solace in the promise of a future together…
And that One Day will be earned, not given..
India - LimaOscarVictorEcho - YankeeOscarUniform
Reageer op dit reisverslag
Je kunt nu ook Smileys gebruiken. Via de toolbar, toetsenbord of door eerst : te typen en dan een woord bijvoorbeeld :smiley
